Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it's like heaven, but drunker
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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