just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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