Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
my poor anus
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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