i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Randomize