Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
