508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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