bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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