Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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