Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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