another moral hangover. fuck.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
In America we eat man semen.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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