question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
