Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
