I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
