We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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