do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
