Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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