So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
