This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
