Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
