bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
