I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
