Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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