I cannot find my penis.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
