So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
