What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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