Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
