We named our party play list daddy issues
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
