I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
