i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
