im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize