i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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