WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
