shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
