im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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