Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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