i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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