Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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