I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
