I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
