No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
