There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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