I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
