His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
