you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
