i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
