I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
