I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
