nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
