so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You're a waste of cheezeits
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
