dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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