she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
now i know why i became what i already was.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
