I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
