I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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