Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
