Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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