I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize