Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
