If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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