Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
