do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize