apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
