We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
