My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
