dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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